Changes...

This is something that's been going on with me for some time, and I think it ties into a lot of change going on in my life as well as life around me. You can take a look at this blog, my friend and pastor Lee Hoy is experiencing it as well and is talking about how it affects the body at Unhinged Pastor. 

This is something I wrote down in prayer the other day. It's actually what got me started blogging and came from seeking the Lord for a solution or at least guidance. I have an office space at our new home so I can do my tech support job in a room that is not also our bedroom now. It is also where I can write and edit and work on the film and video projects and be creative, and most of you know how closely I feel spirituality and creativity are, whether what is created is "Christian" or not.

"This office could either be a temple where God speaks to me, a place of prayer and meditation or it could become a cave. A "drug" den to escape to like all of the other places with pens and paper and computers and music and isolation have become for me in the past. I opiate and self-medicate with basically the same things that also bring me closer to God.

Right now it's a temple. God met me very quickly in my prayer tonight.

I've prayed that God makes this house, itself, a temple. A house of prayer and seeking and meditation and intervintion. Like I've never seen before. I know that will be uncomfortable for us because of everyday stuff. be it negative or positive, is what always puts me right back in my panic mode or my lazy mode or my selfish mode. Where I decide to say, 'screw it' to whatever is going on and take a 10 minute break to do whatever I want. Problem is, externally and internally, I take 40 or 50 of these breaks a day. Nothing about this world will make this easier, and I'm not sure I even know what I'm asking for...I know it means not expecting just a house filled with sunshine, slow, easy days of flowery prayers, and teddy bears skipping through across the lawn.

I have also requested from God some rest from time to time. Times where we are shielded and allowed to have more than our normal lives but a time where we're hedged in by God's wings and allowed rest.

I don't want to ever step out of this room stating things are better. I act just just as much like a jerk in here too. But I feel I'm supposed to ask for this. Pray for the change to our world...

adios